The bright side of getting older: How aging boosts happiness and clarity

Surprising research reveals that as we grow older, we get happier

Like a fine wine or a timeless piece of art, some things only get better with age — and so do we! 🙌

Barf. 🤮

If you’re like me, that statement often sounds more like consolation or fighting words to comfort us from our fear of aging.

But then, I recently read an interview with Laura Carstensen, the founding director of Stanford University’s Center on Longevity, in The Wall Street Journal.

In her research on aging, she discovered a surprising trend: our emotional well-being actually improves as we clock in more digits to our years.

Despite our wrinkles, grays, brain fog, and all the fun things about slowing down, it turns out that as we grow older, we get happier.

You’re wiser and give less fucks

Yeah, another often eye-roll-inducing midlife maxim we’ve all heard before.

I’m not saying there’s no truth to it because there’s plenty of it.

Not giving too many fucks all my life, I’m happy that the rest of us have also had our ‘coming of age’ in middle age.

Welcome to the Church of No Fucks, bitches! 😘

But when older women say this, I sometimes wonder if they really mean it or if it’s just another way to hide our insecurities about aging and feeling unseen — like a coping mechanism.

Well, now there’s some research behind the validity of our no fucks attitude.

As we age, we gain clarity on our place in the world. The mental clutter of ‘what-ifs’ that plagued us in our 20s and 30s starts to fade away, leaving us more grounded and self-assured.

This fewer ‘what-ifs’ mindset is a game-changer.

When you stop wasting energy trying to please everyone or worrying about things outside your control, you free up your brain space for real priorities.

Carstensen’s research found that with age, we face fewer uncertainties and have a more refined perspective on what really matters.

Suddenly, you have the emotional freedom to let go of other people’s opinions, toxic situations, and those nagging doubts that once kept you from being you.

You know who you are, and more importantly, you don’t care who thinks otherwise.

In other words, we went through life’s trials by fire and emerged with the wisdom and self-knowledge of “I’ve seen things. I’ve been through things. Now here I am.”

You’ve earned your confidence — and your much-deserved Zero Fucks Badge. 😎

Less time means more living in the moment

The older we get, the more aware we become of our time limits.

And while that sounds depressing, here’s the paradox:

Realizing we have shorter time horizons calms us down and clarifies what’s important in our lives.

Instead of constantly prepping for some uncertain future, we embrace the present.

Carstensen notes that older adults have been found to focus more on relationships, meaningful experiences, and the here and now.

Think of it this way …

Remember in your youth how your brain was always working overtime, thinking about where you’d be in five years? The job, the house, the kids (or lack thereof) — it was endless.

Now, that long, unclear future doesn’t need as much attention, which lets you focus on enjoying today and working toward exploring fulfilling experiences for the remaining time we have.

Turning 50 this year made me realize that the years I have left as a human in this body are likely less than the years I’ve lived. Who knows how much longer, but I’m not in the camp of wanting to live to 100.

Seriously, I don’t.

Whatever the case, knowing that my time is numbered has softened me in many ways, and it’s been a touching gift.

It’s helped me remember to savor and appreciate more of each moment, my relationships, experiences, and my senses — like the ends of my cat Monk’s whiskers tickling my cheek as he snuggled next to me in bed this morning.

It’s said that youth is wasted on the young. It took me 50 years to realize nothing in life is to be taken for granted. 🥰

Better emotional health – even in the face of loss and change

Despite the physical changes of aging and the occasional “WTF, gravity?” moments, most people do better emotionally as they age.

While there’s plenty to deal with — facing health issues, losing loved ones, and experiencing age discrimination (because that shit’s for real) — older adults generally report higher levels of happiness and emotional well-being than younger people.

Why? Older adults tend to focus on what they can control, and they let go of what they can’t.

This isn’t about toxic positivity — it’s about wisdom.

When you’ve lived through enough ups and downs, you learn that anxiety over things you can’t change is pointless.

You get better at managing your emotions, which means even when life throws curveballs, you’re more equipped to handle them without falling apart.

It’s like having an emotional toolkit that gets more robust every year.

When you were 25, a bad breakup or job loss might have felt like the end of the world.

But now? You’ve got perspective. You’ve been through it, survived, and know that you’ll be fine no matter what.

Life can be challenging at all ages, yet growing older can gift you more vigorous emotional adaptability and strength.

More years, more wisdom, more joy

Here’s the takeaway: aging isn’t about slowing down or losing relevance.

It’s about leveling up emotionally, shedding the unnecessary BS, and truly living in the present.

Sure, society likes to emphasize the negative aspects of aging, but it misses the bigger picture.

You’re not just surviving midlife and beyond — you’re thriving.

More wisdom, more calm, and yes, more joy.

So, let’s ditch the anti-aging nonsense and embrace the upsides of getting older.

The longer we live, the better we get at living, period.

And that’s something to celebrate.